robertberry

Ok...here's the latest gossip for you Britney watchers.

I visited her in the mental institution. I really didn't have any proper access and they weren't letting the press in so I had to dress up as a janitor. Anyway, I went into her room and she was totally in this rubber padded cell in a straightjacket. She kept singing, "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman!" and I was compelled to sing along with her. Then she threw up on me, so I'm going to sell the shirt on eBay. KA-CHING, MOTHERFUCKERS!

On the way out, Perez Hilton tried to get me to divulge my tale early so he could blog about it, and I refused. He spraypainted pretend cocaine dripping off my nose and I can't wash that shit off now.

I'll see you in Hell, Perez!