robertberry

How cool is a chance to sit down with the still great looking David Duchovny and the more gorgeous than ever Gillian Anderson to talk about their upcoming X-Files movie sequel? SUPER COOL! We were a part of a panel interview with a handful of other writers at San Francisco's Wonder Con, and got some nice exclusive photos taken along with our questions.

Hey! HEY! HAY! We could really use your help in getting a bunch of new eyeballs to watch this swell new 3 minute gore film I'm in called Zombie Walk, directed by my good buddy, Jace Whitman! CLICK HERE to give it a watch, and you can see me "acting" like a tremendous douche and getting my just desserts from a flock of bloodthirsty zombies! If enough people watch it and give it a thumbs up rating, it'll be in the running to be an extra on George Romero's Diary of the Dead DVD. Oh please, won't you take a few minutes and watch it. I guarantee you'll either laugh or puke, or both! CLICK HERE TO WATCH ZOMBIE WALK!

photo by Getty Images

INTERVIEW WITH GEORGE ROMERO
AND DIARY OF THE DEAD REVIEW

Though he's too humble to admit it, George Romero's Living Dead movies deserve hallowed status alongside the greatest works of fiction. Maybe it was all just a beautiful accident, but 40 years after Night of the Living Dead's 1968 debut, zombies are bigger than ever. Romero's work has been able to make us look at ourselves and the way we live, though those that no longer do. The paranoia of locking yourself in an old house to keep yourself safe from the evils of the world still rings true on so many levels. The zombies shambling through the mall of Dawn of the Dead are a reflection of the sometimes equally meaningless way we spend our living hours. retroCRUSH is honored to have an exclusive interview with George Romero, as well as an early review of his film, Diary of the Dead.

CLICK HERE TO READ THEM BOTH!

Though movie posters are often fantastic works of art, too often the DVD packaging results in some of the must hideous and bizarre examples of wretchedness the world has ever seen.

CLICK HERE for the complete gallery at retroCRUSH!

As part of my ongoing series bitching about stuff the grocery store doesn't have anymore, it's time to get mad at Hostess! When I was a kid I would love eating their low grade donuts on weekends when we'd get those packs with three different flavors; plain, powdered, and cinnamon powdered. As you can see, they swapped out the cinnamon powdered ones with that shitty waxy choco flavor that is just so bad. What gives, Hostess? Was it bad enough that you took away Blueberry Fruit Pies?

 

 

Luckily I found these tasty "Cinnamon Popettes" over on the same rack, like a hot little slut waiting to tempt me with their cinnamony (that doesn't really taste much like cinnamon) goodness. I am a whore for you, Cinnamon Popettes. Thanks for inviting me into your tasty bed of pastry goodness.

I was at the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op (come for the great food deals, but stay for the hot hippie cashiers) and stumbled on this odd supplement. It's RAW FEMALE in a concentrated capsule form. I had to buy some and try it for myself. Needless to say, it contained 50% sugar, 30% spice, and 15% everything nice. The remaining 5%? Something we'll never understand.

HOT MANNING ACTION

Continuing my day of wandering the grocery store and taking pictures of food, I got a big laugh out of this crazy display for Oreos (oddly on top of a Wheat Thins display). Those none too bright Manning boys are busy seeing who can give the sexiest lick action to the frosting on their cookies. It makes you wonder what they're saying. I think it probably goes something like this.

 

Payton: "You know I can lick better than you, Bro!"
 

Eli: "Oh yeah? Check out how my loving tongue is just licking the shit out of this Oreo! Who's the hottest licker now?"

 

Payton: "Kiss me now, you sexy bastard!"

I went to the store to buy some Alpha Bits so I could write my life story in the form of cereal. I was shocked to learn that they don't make them anymore. I had to settle for Cheerios, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks. Here's an Excerpt.

CHAPTER ONE
o
 o
o  o
o
o o
o
o o o o   o o o o
 o
 

Ok...here's the latest gossip for you Britney watchers.

I visited her in the mental institution. I really didn't have any proper access and they weren't letting the press in so I had to dress up as a janitor. Anyway, I went into her room and she was totally in this rubber padded cell in a straightjacket. She kept singing, "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman!" and I was compelled to sing along with her. Then she threw up on me, so I'm going to sell the shirt on eBay. KA-CHING, MOTHERFUCKERS!

On the way out, Perez Hilton tried to get me to divulge my tale early so he could blog about it, and I refused. He spraypainted pretend cocaine dripping off my nose and I can't wash that shit off now.

I'll see you in Hell, Perez!